weekend that it was..
what a weekend it has been for me..
so tiring but yet so eventfull..
i am actually exhausted but i loved my weekend..
interesting enough, i’ve learned more about myself, my relationship, my friends and other people… 
other people:
i’ve learned that i’ve believed whatever i want to believe about them which on this case wasn’t really the best thing to do.
for instance, i’ve always believed that she was perfect. For a long time i have put her into some kind of “model” who i always wished that i was her or at least i have her good traits (if there are any).
i’ve envied her and was jealous of her which to think about it, i shouldn’t have. it was actually a total waste of time. Total waste of my time and energy and my tears i tell you. I am_not_saying that i am better than her. Not at all, i don’t think that i am better than anybody, i am not like that… in fact, i always see myself inferior than her and that was the biggest mistake ever.
if i could only see her and tell her.. “you are responsible for your own actions”
i realise that she was using all this “guilt” trip to get what she wants. she uses that she’s been through shit because of one person.. and whatever happened to her is because of the person.. well honey..
you are responsible for your actions.
my friends
that no matter how close we are and how long we’ve known each other there will be times that i can’t please them or they won’t understand me.
but i still love them
My relationship
i am so thankful to be in this relationship…
so thankful..
so happy…
Myself
that i can commit on something and be good at it and stay committed.
provided i am happy.
as long as i am happy with what i do, who i am with, where i am.. i will give my full commitment.
something i thought i am not capable of… hehehehehehehe
my only fear now is losing my happines..
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